My "Blind Man" Strategy

I am thinking about the game, “Blind Man,” that my siblings and I used to play as children.  We would use a scarf, or one of my dad’s old socks, as a blindfold.  Whoever was It would have to close his or her eyes before having the blindfold tied on securely.  Then, after being spun around, the objective was for It to find and tag someone else.  One strategy was to cheat.  This was accomplished by opening one’s eyes slightly and looking downward to see people’s feet.  Usually, the slightly bowed head and deliberate steps were a dead giveaway to others that this strategy was being employed, and It would be called out.  Another strategy was to just run all around, flailing one’s arms wildly, in hopes of eventually hitting someone…anyone.  This strategy certainly made things lively and fun, but It was still at a disadvantage to those who were faster or those who simply tucked themselves cleverly into an out-of-the-way spot.  Whenever I was It, a strategy I learned to use was to just be still and listen.  Eventually something would be revealed to my other senses.  A whisper.  A giggle.  A creak in the floor.  The sound of someone breathing.  These clues would lead me in a productive direction where I could then spread out my arms and tag someone.  At times I find myself feeling a little like It in my life experiences.  I know that I am called to “walk by faith,” but sometimes I try to cheat by relying on “sight”, such as past experiences, conventional wisdom, and the opinions of others.  Ironically, this strategy ends up cheating me, and I always get called out for it.  Sometimes I become anxious and just flail about, desperately attempting one thing or another, hoping to see some result…any result.  This is not only exhausting, but it also leaves me feeling vulnerable, uncertain, and completely at the mercy of chance.  But lately I am learning to apply my old “Blind Man” strategy—to just be still and listen.  I’m encouraged as I am beginning to experience a sharpening of my spiritual senses, which reveal things I would otherwise have missed.  In the silence, I can hear whispers of hope…joyful giggles of “a great cloud of witnesses” who know the reward of faith…unseen floors creaking under the weight of blessings that await me…the Holy Spirit breathing words of life: “Don’t give up.”  These clues are leading me in fruitful directions where I can open my arms wide and receive the hidden treasures that God has reserved for me. 

Flash Mobs of Favor

This morning I am thinking about flash mobs.  Everything starts out looking normal…just ordinary.  People are going about their business, and nothing seems particularly unusual.  Then, all of a sudden, unsuspecting onlookers are immersed in a lively scene of sound, sights, music, and movement.  It becomes quickly evident that what is unfolding is no accident.  It is the result of an intentional, carefully thought out and choreographed plan designed to delight and inspire.  It brings a smile to my heart today as I recall times in my life when, as if out of nowhere, I found myself encompassed in a flash mob of God’s love, grace, and favor toward me.  Sometimes, within an instant, my day has gone from mundane to marvelous.
 
• I got a call or visit from an old friend. 
• My boss commended me for a job well done. 
• A favorite song came on the radio with a message I needed to hear. 
• A fellow believer gave me a word of exhortation. 
• I caught all green lights on the way to the store AND found a close parking spot. 
• I received a kind word from a complete stranger. 
• A prayer was answered.

I am filled with awe and thankfulness to think about how my Father carefully, thoughtfully, purposefully, and lovingly arranges such circumstances just for me.  He sends them when Ieast expected, but most needed…to delight, inspire, refresh, and encourage me on my journey of faith.  He sends them just to say, “Don’t give up.  I am mindful of you, and I love you.”          

Speech Bubbles

This morning I am thinking about the potentially long-term impression of the words I speak on those who hear me.  When I was a brand new teacher, I had an idea for my students to create an anthology titled, “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Second Grade” as an end-of-year writing project.  My plan was that each child would get a copy of the “book” as a keepsake, and one copy would remain in my classroom library for the next group of first graders to enjoy.  For homework one night, I gave the assignment for my students to talk to their families about the things they had learned that year.  Then they were to write and illustrate a page about their funniest memory.  The next day, as I was reading their stories, I was mortified to see one particular illustration.  In the first frame there were students, some seated at their desks and others standing.  The author and illustrator of the page had his hand raised with a speech bubble coming from his mouth.  He was saying, “Miss Conage, let’s play heads up, seven up!”  In the second frame, I was standing and facing the desks, decked in high heels and earrings.  The speech bubble coming from my mouth had the words, “How about, let’s play sit down and shut up?”  In the third frame, there were speech bubbles coming from everyone’s mouths, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”  After my initial shock, I laughed myself to tears recalling the occasion vividly.  I was ever so thankful that I had such a relationship with my students and families that they took my words as humorous rather than hurtful.  This makes me reflect on the words that often fly out of my mouth without careful thought or consideration.  Sometimes I’m much more concerned with making a quick and immediate point than I am with the possible implications and consequences of what I say.  Oh, how I pray for wisdom and grace in this regard!  When people reflect on their interactions with me, I want their speech bubbles to contain words of light and love…of truth and triumph…of peace and power…of hope and, yes, of humor.  When people reflect on their interactions with me, I want their speech bubbles to contain words of life.

I Will Trust Him

This morning I am thinking about a time when my daughter, Ari, taught me an important lesson about trust.  We were out enjoying ice cream at one of our favorite places on the beach, when a sudden storm arose.  Ari was only about five years old, and she was quite terrified of lightning.  Recognizing her fear, I quickly went into protective mode.  I tried to hold her close, speaking reassuring words, but she wouldn’t be comforted.  It broke my heart to see her crying and trembling.  When I could think of nothing else to say, I asked her, “Do you think I’m going to let anything happen to you?”  She looked up at me with her big, beautiful brown eyes and nodded, “Yes.”  Her brutally honest confession was both humorous and sobering to me.  Truth was, despite my most earnest efforts and intentions, I had no control over lightning.  Ever wise beyond her years, she must have realized that I was actually in danger, too.  She knew I loved her, but her ability to fully trust me was tempered by her perception of my own limited power.  I am drawing from that lesson today as I ponder my reactions to various storms of life that suddenly arise and encompass me.  I really do try to be brave, but I must admit that sometimes I tremble and sometimes I cry.  How this must touch the heart of my Father, Whose love for me is greater than I can conceive!  Without a doubt I have felt Him hold me close, and I have heard Him speak words of comfort and reassurance to my spirit.  Unlike me, though, He does have control over the lightning, and the wind, and the rain.  He has authority to speak to my storms and cause them to cease, and He shields me in His peace as they pass.  He deserves my complete, unreserved trust because there is no limit to His power.  So even in the midst of circumstances that make me feel exposed, vulnerable, and threatened, I have to ask myself, “Do you really think He is going to let anything happen to you?”  I pray that I will consistently answer with my life, as well as with my lips, “Of course not!”  I know He loves me, and He will keep me.  And I will trust Him.

Going In: A Lesson on How to Receive Blessings

This morning I am thinking about learning how to receive blessings.  Yesterday one of my sisters called me and said, “I know Saturday is your movie night, but I was hoping we could go to Bubba Gump.”  She suggested we have an early dinner so I could still make it to my movie.  When she arrived at my house, she announced, “I’m paying for your dinner this time.”  We enjoyed a delicious meal, great conversation, and (as usual) lots of laughs.  On the way home, she asked if I wouldn’t mind stopping by a particular department store—which happened to be one of my favorites—so she could run in and get some panty hose.  I drove up close to the entrance and told her I’d park and wait for her in the car, but she grinned.  “I want you to come in,” she told me.  “I want to buy you something.”  I could feel tears start to well up when she said, “You know, you do so much for everybody else.  I just wanted to do something for you.”  Her words, so heartfelt and sincere, completely disarmed me.  In that moment, I resisted the urge to say or do something to reciprocate.  I allowed myself to simply accept her gift of gratitude.  I decided not to wait in the car after all.  As I sat before the Lord today, preparing my heart for worship service, I was overwhelmed by the realization of how much He desires to bless me.  It’s not a matter of my being deserving…it’s not because of anything I’ve done or could ever do.  It’s absolutely and completely because of His great grace and love for me.  This morning I can see myself parked right outside the store of His abundant FAVOR and PROVISION, and I can perceive Him speaking sweetly to my spirit, “I have some things I want to give you.  Open your eyes, your mind, your hands, and your heart to receive.”  Believe me, I won't be waiting outside.  I'm going in.      

Prerequisites

This morning I am thinking about prerequisites.  It is amazing to me that I’m entering the final semester of coursework for my doctoral degree.  After this fall semester, I’ll have my qualifying exams in the spring.  Then the following year will be spent working on my capstone project (a.k.a. dissertation), and I’ll be ready to graduate!  So, I’m thinking about the courses I had to take to get to this point.  I realize that they were laid out in a particular sequence for a reason.  They were developed so that my knowledge and skills—both theoretical and practical—could continually grow.  Each learning experience was designed to connect to and build upon others.  The whole point is that I will be able to synthesize and apply what I have learned to make a positive difference in my work.  Some courses, I have really enjoyed.  Others, not so much.  Some courses challenged and stretched my thinking, while others have tested my stamina and my patience.  Whatever I thought of my courses, I still had to take them all.  And I had to pass.  I couldn’t skip the ones I didn’t like or take the ones that sounded more interesting any sooner than they were scheduled.  Every course, however dull or delightful, prepared me in some way for success at another level.  Reflecting on this offers a helpful lens through which to view my life experiences thus far and the lessons they have taught me.  Given the choice, I would likely have skipped a few of my “life courses.”  Some of them have been quite tough and not at all enjoyable.  I recall, for example, one prerequisite course called “Not Enough.”  I hated it, but it has taught me to TRUST.  Then there’s the course called “Waiting.”  I’ve had to take this one over and over again, but it has taught me PATIENCE.  I wanted to just drop out while taking the courses in “Sacrifice” and “Vulnerability,” but they have taught me how to truly LOVE.  The courses called “Death” and “Loss” have been the most difficult by far, but they have taught me to HOPE.  As I look back I can see how each course is ordained… laid out with great attention and INTENTION…to equip and prepare me for things to come.  I don’t know what the future holds or all that God has planned for me--the places I’ll go, the things I’ll see and do, the people I’ll meet.  But I do know that HE KNOWS, and in His faithfulness He is making me ready.  My sincere prayer is that, in every circumstance and situation, I will be able to synthesize and apply my life lessons to make a positive difference in my world.   

 

Original post date:  August 24, 2012

Day Dreams

This morning I am thinking about dreams. A friend gave me a wonderful, two-sided journal for my birthday. On one side, it says “Night Dreams.” In it, I have recorded images and impressions that emerged while I slept. As I leafed through the pages today, I marveled at the variety of dreams I’ve captured. There’s a bit of everything—from meeting Denzel Washington to foreseeing someone’s termination from work. If I flip the journal over, the other side says “Day Dreams.” In it, I have recorded visions and ideas that came to me while I was awake. As I leafed through those pages today, I marveled at how little I had written. I didn’t have to wonder why that was the case. I already knew it was because of The Bear. (“The Bear” is the nickname I have for the spirit of fear that arises to challenge me whenever I determine to take a step of faith.) Among other things, The Bear really does not like my day dreams. Sometimes it just stares at me, daring me to believe or to imagine something wonderful. At other times, it actually speaks in taunting words: “Do you actually think THAT is going to happen?” or “Go right ahead and make a fool of yourself.” The Bear also laughs at me when I try hard and things don’t work out. But today I’ve resolved to walk right past The Bear. I picked up my pen and began to write down my dreams, in spite of some rather loud growling. Before I knew it, I had written two and a half pages! What gave me such courage and boldness? It was my remembrance of God’s faithfulness. I reflected on the dreams that have already come to pass by His love, kindness and grace. As my focus increasingly shifted from my fear to His faithfulness, the clearer it became. My God-given dreams are about much more than me and The Bear. In the fulfillment of my dreams there lies liberation, enlightenment, healing, restoration, and hope for OTHERS. (I couldn’t really see them before, hidden behind The Bear.) I’m going to queue up Aerosmith on my iTunes for today’s theme song: Dream On!

Original post date:  August 22, 2012

Chosen

This morning I am thinking about the indescribable joy of being chosen. Some people may have the luxury of taking it for granted, but this is certainly not the case for me. I have developed my deep appreciation for being chosen by knowing well the sting of rejection. It’s bad enough when the rejection is based on superficial or impersonal factors by those who don’t know me. But it’s much worse when I’ve made some kind of effort…when I’ve demonstrated my potential…when I’ve cracked open the treasure chest of who I am to try to make myself known, only to be passed over. It’s the same whether the chooser is a kickball team captain, a potential employer, or a romantic interest. It always hurts to know when I’m just not what they are looking for. On the other hand, there is nothing quite like being picked. There is nothing quite like knowing that in spite of any and all other auditions, applications, or expressions of interest, I am preferred and selected. I have found that there is energy, healing, purpose, and life-giving power implanted in the words, “I want you.” This is, perhaps, my best explanation to those who ask why I always seem to be smiling. Despite the inevitable rejections in life, there is One Who sees me and knows me, and yet has chosen me. He faithfully declares His love for me every day, in every way. He tells me in His Word, “I have called you by name. You are mine!” (Isaiah 43:1) And, as if this isn’t wonderful enough, He blesses me to experience the love, affirmation, and acceptance of others as well. This is why I smile, and sing, and praise. It’s because I could be on a “Wanted” poster. I am CHOSEN.

Original post date:  August 21, 2012

First, Giving Thanks...

This morning I am thinking about how, as children, my siblings and I were taught to say grace at mealtimes. The temptation was so great to just dive in and begin to devour what had been prepared. We knew, however, that we should first stop, bow our heads, and give thanks. It seemed an inevitable irony to me that the most long-winded prayers of blessing and thanksgiving would be offered before

the most delicious meals. As if we hadn’t waited long enough for the cooking, we would have to endure more waiting…being able to see and smell the food, but not being able to touch it yet. I realize my focus really should have been on the words being spoken of gratefulness for God’s goodness. After all, it’s not like the food was going anywhere. It wasn’t going to spoil, and it wouldn’t get cold. Yet I must confess that ninety-nine percent of the time my focus was simply on partaking. Today my heart is filled with joy and anticipation as I sit before a table that the Lord has prepared for me. It is a veritable feast of blessings, both natural and spiritual. I can see the things that have been thoughtfully, lovingly “cooked up” for me by His divine will and wisdom. My appetite has grown while I’ve waited. I can almost taste it. But before I make one move to partake, I will first stop, humble myself, and give thanks. It won’t be a quick prayer, either. I am going to take my time and declare my heartfelt gratefulness for His goodness. After all, it’s not like my blessings are going anywhere. They are not going to spoil, and they won’t grow cold. God has assured me that what He provides, He also preserves. What He provides is always, ALWAYS worth the wait.

Original post date:  August 20, 2012

For My Bad Hair Days

This morning I am thinking about one rainy, windy day when I had morning bus duty at school. When I got to my classroom, I was a bit wet and quite disheveled. One of my first graders came up to ask me something, but before he got his question out, he paused. With a look of concern on his face, he said, “Miss Conage, you’re having a bad hair day.” Remembering his words in that moment still cracks me up, as much as when he spoke them so many years ago. Rather than being offended by his honesty, I was actually flattered by his unspoken (but implied) message. Apparently, he thought I usually had good hair days! As soon as I had a break, I went to a mirror and worked to straighten myself up. I find that a similar scenario sometimes plays out in my everyday world. The storms of life can affect me in ways of which I may or may not even be aware. The result is not a bad hair day, but it might be a bad attitude day, a bad kindness day, or perhaps a bad joy day. I thank God for the loving, faithful friends He sends to call me out at such times. With sincere concern, they let me know that something is amiss or just not quite right. Rather than being offended by their honesty, I am encouraged to know that they believe I can do better and be better…that I AM BETTER than what I may be presenting at a particular time. So when I’m made aware that I “look a mess”, I pray for a heart to always retreat quickly to the mirror of the Word, where I can be transformed again to the image of His beauty and wholeness.

Original post date:  August 19, 2012

Getting "There" By Faith

This morning I am thinking about a time when I was studying abroad. The class I was taking—“The Lively Arts in London”—required me to be able to get to a variety of theaters and other venues. Therefore I had to quickly become proficient at navigating my way around unfamiliar places. I rose to the challenge, often venturing out with a map to explore. So I was feeling quite confident when I set out one Sunday morning to visit a church in Northumberland Park. I took the Underground, just as I had done when I made a trial run earlier in the week. As I was relaxing and enjoying the ride, I didn’t anticipate that the train had a different schedule for Saturday and Sunday. On the weekends, it only went part of the way to my desired destination. I could have just received this as some kind of sign, taken a train back, and enjoyed a Sunday off. But if I really wanted to go to church, I would have to walk the rest of the way. I exited the train tentatively and looked around, trying to get my bearings. Within minutes, I was approached by a man. He was donned in old, tattered clothes and worn out shoes. His coat looked threadbare, and I felt sorry for him in the January cold. His gait was a bit wobbly, as if he had been sleeping…or maybe drinking. I felt certain he was going to ask me for money. But he didn’t. He asked, “Miss, where are you going?” I told him I was going to church. Looking at my purse, he asked, “Do you know where you are? You’re in (expletive) Tottenham!” I had no prior reference for the significance of this, but I was suddenly rather concerned. Then he said, “Come on. I’ll walk with you.” And he did, all the way. Never once did he ask for money. I believe the memory of this experience has come back to me today to alert me to two things. First, I have entered a season in which I must understand that my thoughtful, intentional plans will take me only so far toward my destiny. If I really want to go all the way there, I am going to have to step off the train of comfort and predictability to WALK IN FAITH. Secondly, as I walk in faith, God may send me help from the most unexpected persons and places. When this happens, I should not fear or despise this assistance. Rather, I should trust that since it is from His hand, it is for my good. So I give thanks for the “rides” that ended sooner than I wanted or expected—those relationships and other supports that have run their intended course. I pray now for grace to discern and embrace the guidance and protection He will provide to escort me into the fulfillment of my heart’s desires and purpose.

Original post date:  August 18, 2012

An Ounce of Prevention (A Lesson About Wholeness and Healing)

This morning I am thinking about my last visit to the chiropractor. I had gone in because I could barely move. My backache was at the point where it hurt to walk, sit, stand, or even lie down. This would happen periodically after I had a rollover in my SUV. Always kind and compassionate, my chiropractor spoke to me firmly about not waiting so long between adjustments. He had told me this before…several times. I always had some excuse, though. Sometimes it was my crazy work schedule, and sometimes it was that I was traveling. Mostly it was just that I didn’t think I needed it. Most times, I considered the pain to be manageable. As he worked on me that day, he told me that I was “crooked” and “inflamed.” (I was thinking, “Man, you have no idea…”) Then he said something that struck me. He explained how the manifestation of my pain was the end of a progression of damage, due to misalignment and neglect. Just because I didn’t always feel much discomfort, I should not assume that all was well and skip regular appointments. If I were wise, I would be proactive and prevent the immobilizing agony in the first place. I find this to also be true with my spiritual health and well-being. Life experiences can spin me around and flip me upside down, jarring me to the very foundation of my soul, and knocking me out of alignment with God’s purpose and calling for me to live in hope, love, joy, and peace. Yet, I still sometimes choose to skip my regular “appointments” with Him, where I allow Him to minister wholeness and strength to my brokenness and weakness. I offer one excuse or another. Sometimes it’s that I’m too busy, and sometimes it’s that I’m too tired. But mostly, it’s that I just don’t understand how much I need it. I convince myself that my challenges, heartaches, and disappointments are manageable. I tell myself that it’s okay…that I’m okay. Eventually, though, I find myself “crooked and inflamed”…speaking, thinking, behaving, and believing in ways that are severely limited. When I seek Him out, I am grateful that He is always kind and compassionate. He exhorts me not to wait so long to approach His throne of grace. Then He heals and restores me once again.

Original post date:  August 16, 2012

Process and Purpose

This morning I am thinking about the significance of both process and purpose. Last night I reread one of my favorite books, “Hope for the Flowers” by Trina Paulus. This book was given to me as a college graduation present, and every now and then when I’m feeling a little lost…or a little like a loser…I’ll pull it out and find some inspiration. It’s about two caterpillars and their story of becoming the butterflies they were meant to be. What I noticed last night is that most of the pages in the book are about the process of their transformation…the hope, the doubt, the fear, the yielding, the preparing, and the waiting. However, two of the most powerful pages in the book are about the purpose for their transformation, which was that they could carry “the seeds of love from one flower to another.” I reflected on how I often tend to get caught up in the processes God uses to make me into the woman I am meant to become. At the beginning of the process, I get my stomach tied up in knots wondering, “What’s going to happen next? Is it going to hurt?” When I’m in the middle of the process, I find myself impatiently wondering, “How long is this going to take?” I realize that this wrestling (which can be so mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausting) serves to limit my focus to only the present trials. My heart rejoiced in the revelation that my transformation is in my trials, but my real power is in my purpose. And transformation without power is pointless. (How sad to become a butterfly that still crawls like a worm!) Today I am praying for a shift in focus to the purpose at the end of each process, no matter how painful, which is that I might spread the seeds of God’s life, light, liberation, and love from one person to another.

Original post date:  August 13, 2012

Another Time Around the Block (A Lesson About Missed Opportunities)

This morning I am thinking about missed opportunities. While on my way to see a movie last night, I was hoping to find a parking space on the street, close to the entrance. When there are no such spots available, I have to use the parking garage across the street, which really isn’t my preference. As I approached the theater I noticed a premium, empty space right near the entrance, just like I had been hoping. It was as though it had been left there just for me. All common sense dictates that I should have taken the space, but I didn’t. You see, taking the space would have required me to parallel park, and I’m not very good at it. Typically it takes me at least three “ins and outs” to get into a parallel space just right. I imagined how cars would be lined up behind me laughing, honking their horns or cussing me out. I let fear get the best of me, and I kept going. I reasoned that I could find another space…an easier one…one that I could just pull right into. Immediately I regretted my decision not to take the space. As I drove around the block, I resolved that, if my premium space was still there, I would go for it this time. If people had to wait a little while for me to get it right, so be it. When I got back around, I could see that the spot was still there…but not for long. My gut clenched as I noticed the taillights on the car in front of me. He was positioning himself to take the spot! It took him only one “in” to get it, too. To add insult to injury, I had to sit and watch this unfold. As I drove by, I could see that he had the biggest, happy grin on his face like he had won the jackpot. I thought, “That should be my space. That should be my big, happy grin.” I had to go to the parking garage where the spaces were plentiful and easy, but certainly not preferred. Later, I reflected on the times I have foolishly let fear cause me to bypass God’s perfect, preferred provision for me in order seek out something “easier.” I confessed my fear and my pride, and I asked His forgiveness. I felt Him speak to my heart, calling for my unwavering faith that He will help me navigate into the “open spaces” He places before me. It may not always be easy, but it will always be worth it. I certainly can’t do a thing about the past or my opportunities missed. But, right now, I believe I’m going to take another drive around the block.

Original post date:  August 12, 2012

My Registry

This morning I am thinking about the joy and excitement in anticipating the arrival of something wonderful. In September, my daughter and son-in-law (Arielle and Jermaine) will become parents to my very first grandchild! Later today, they are going to be lavished with gifts from family and friends who wish to share in celebrating this happy occasion at a baby shower. When I came through the door after shopping for gifts, my mom asked, “Well, did you leave anything for anybody else to get?” I simply answered, “I am the Grandmother.” As I was filling up my cart with items from their registry, I imagined the loving thought that had gone into each item Ari and Jermaine selected. Every gift was evidence that they have already begun to envision life with their new baby boy. As the time draws nearer, and Ari’s belly gets bigger and rounder, the reality of their impending parenthood is confirmed. So, they are getting prepared. As I reflected on this, I felt compelled to ask myself some questions: What wonderful things am I anticipating? Have I begun to envision life with the things for which I have been praying and believing? Do I recognize the signs and evidence of my impending breakthrough? Am I getting prepared? After pondering these things, I grabbed one of my journals and I started to record my registry. I began listing the gifts that I know I’ll need, including wisdom, kindness, and integrity. Then I lifted up my registry list in prayer. I am quite confident that my God will supply every single thing on my registry, and He’ll do it gladly. After all, He is the Father.

Original post date:  August 11, 2012

The Joy of (Occassionally) Losing It

This morning I am thinking about an unintended blessing in searching for something I thought I had lost. The other night, I couldn’t locate my cell phone for about an hour. I was sitting in bed, reading, when I realized the phone was missing from its usual place on my nightstand. I tend to follow the same routine when I’m looking for something, and the other night was no exception. First I looked in some obvious places, like in my study and in my “chill” room. Next, I looked in some ridiculous places, like in the trash and inside the shoes I’d worn that day. After that, I started lifting and moving things to look underneath or behind. Still there was no sign of it. (I seriously started wondering if my Chihuahua had moved it.) Finally, I started cleaning up clutter, and that’s when I found it! Well, it wasn’t my cell phone, but it was something else that made me grin with delight…something I had lost and resolved that I might never find again. But there I was, holding it in my hand. I took it and sat on my bed, so excited and so thankful. That’s when I looked down and saw my cell phone in a place where I couldn’t fathom how I had missed it before. It was right beside me where I had been sitting in bed, reading. Sometimes when I get caught up in the busy-ness of life, I get the sense that I have somehow lost touch with God, my Source. This is always an awkward, uncomfortable feeling that compels me to begin seeking Him earnestly, desperately…through prayer and His Word. In doing so, I inevitably get to a place where it becomes necessary for me to clean up some mental, emotional, and spiritual clutter. It is there, in the process of seeking Him with all my heart, where He graciously blesses me to rediscover treasures I may have lost along the way—treasures of peace, joy, hope, and confidence in His promises. And, when all is said and done, He reveals Himself and allows me to see that He always was, and always will be, right beside me.

Original post date:  August 10, 2012

Swimming Lessons

This morning I am thinking about a time when I could have drowned at the recreation center pool. I was about seven years old, but my older siblings had never allowed me to venture beyond 3 feet. As usual, my sisters stayed near me in the water that day. However, their attention was directed primarily toward their friends. While they were distracted, I became attracted to what my brother, Steve, was doing at the other end of the pool. I watched in delight as, over and over, he climbed up the ladder to the diving board and plunged in, making a splash. It looked like such fun, and I wanted to do it too. So, while no one was looking, I made my way to the diving board and climbed the ladder. I dove in, without even the slightest hint of fear. It wasn’t long, however, before I realized something was wrong. I wasn’t able to touch the bottom and stand up, like I could in 3 feet. I kicked and sputtered, not quite sure what to do. I had never been in the deep end before. Just as I was going under, I felt a pair of hands grab hold and pull me back up. It was my brother, Steve! Although I think he was terrified at the thought of what might have happened, I could tell he was also amused…and a bit impressed…at my moxy. In any case, he carried me back to the safety of 3 feet, where I was then perfectly content to just sit on the steps and watch him dive. This is how it is for me when I look in the Word and see powerful examples of bold, radical faith. I find myself thinking, “That is so awesome. I want to believe God like that, too.” Sometimes I sneak away from those who mean well, but whose “protective” voices and opinions often keep me contained in the comfort zone of the ordinary…in the spiritual 3 feet. Sometimes I dive, fearless, into the deep end of faith with prayers and supplication to see a manifestation of the extraordinary and miraculous. And sometimes I feel as though I am drowning, unable to stand, and not quite sure what to do. Yet, every time, the Lord pulls me up and holds me up. And He does not simply take me back to my shallow places. This time, my big Brother is teaching me how to swim.

Original post date:  August 7, 2012

Exposing the Un-Rotten (Another Lesson About Waiting)

This morning I am thinking about how I always enjoyed planting seeds with my students, so they could see how the process they had read about in the science book actually happened in real life. All of the children had their own cups and their own seeds. I, of course, also had a cup and seeds for myself. We would each fill our little cups with good, rich soil. Then we’d bury our seeds and place

the cups on the windowsill. We talked the importance of checking each day to make sure the seeds received adequate water and sunlight. Using pictures from the book, we would also talk about what was happening to our seeds while we waited...how they were changing, hidden from our view. It was always so exciting when the seeds began to sprout, some more quickly than others. One year, everybody’s seeds had started sprouting except mine. At first I wasn’t too concerned, knowing that the process often happened at different rates. However, I became more anxious with each day that passed with no sign of life from my little cup. My students were also concerned. Some even offered to give me their plant. Finally, one day I couldn’t stand it any longer. I thought to myself, “I used the same soil. I wonder if I watered it too much.” I ultimately reasoned that the seeds must have been rotten. So, I took my finger and pushed back the soil to expose those rotten little seeds. They would provide for a good teachable moment with my students the next day. To my surprise, what I found beneath the soil were tiny roots extending outward and downward from inside the seed coat, which had opened. There was nothing rotten there at all. As I recall that experience, it appears the teachable moment was actually for me. I may have missed the lesson that day, but I think I get it now. First of all, when I plant seeds of faith through prayer, I need to stop comparing myself to others who seem to be receiving quicker answers. Secondly, I can always go to the Book to remind myself of what is happening to my faith-filled petitions while I wait…how they are being fashioned and prepared for manifestation, though temporarily hidden from my view. Finally, just because there is a delay, I should not assume that something is “rotten.” To summarize the lesson: Sometimes I just need to wait.

Original post date:  August 6, 2012

My Ruined Appetite (A Lesson About Waiting)

This morning I am thinking about a time when my cousin, Brian, was visiting us from New York for a few weeks while school was out for the summer. Whenever the two of us were together, we always found a number of ways to entertain ourselves, and it usually involved some form of mischief. One particular day, after playing outside, we were both pretty hungry. So, we went inside and told my brother, Andy, that we were ready to eat. He told us, “I’m going to cook something for you in a little while.” Then he went back to reading. Brian and I sat in the living room, thinking that my brother would be getting up at any moment to head into the kitchen. But he didn’t. After waiting for about twenty minutes, Brian motioned for me to come with him outside. When we closed the door behind us, he said, “I’m starving!” I agreed, “Me too!” Then he said, “I have some money. Let’s go to McDonald’s.” Since neither of us could drive (even if we’d had a car), this meant we had to walk. And so we did. Brian had a Big Mac, and I had a Filet-O-Fish Sandwich. We both had fries and a drink. We were feeling clever, resourceful, and quite pleased with ourselves …until we got back home. As soon as we opened the door, the aroma hit our nostrils. “Come and get it!” Andy’s voice rang out. He had been working to surprise us with one of our favorites—spaghetti. I had to quickly make up an excuse for why I wasn’t ready to eat yet, but Brian bravely forced down a plateful to save face. I confess that there have been times when I made my desires known to God in prayer, and He gave me assurance in my soul that He had heard and would provide. Yet, when it didn’t look like He was moving quickly enough, I went to the “McDonald’s” of leaning to my own understanding, where I gorged myself on thoughts and behaviors that ruined my appetite for His perfect provision. But, I thank God for His grace, for second chances, and for new beginnings. Today my heart cries out, “Lord, no matter how long…no matter how ‘hungry’ I feel…help me to trust you and wait on the surprise you are preparing especially for me.”

Original post date:  August 5, 2012

Something Just Right

This morning I am thinking about my trip to the bridal boutique with my best friend yesterday. Her wedding dress had arrived! We were both very excited to see the dress, but there was a bit of a glitch. The boutique owner had called with the unwelcome news that a different veil had been sent than what was ordered. They wanted my friend to just take a look at the accidental veil, which happened to be more expensive. If she liked it, they would let her have it for the same price as the one she originally wanted. I would daresay we both walked into the shop convinced that she would not like the alternate veil. I waited with anticipation as my friend disappeared into the fitting room to put on her dress. After a while, she emerged looking every bit like a beautiful, fairy tale princess. And when the shop owner arranged the veil on her head, there was absolutely no question or doubt. It was just right. As I reflect on some of the things I have “ordered” through prayer and supplication to my Father, I am thankful that He didn’t always send me what I thought I wanted. I pray for wisdom to receive what He provides with joy and gratefulness, understanding that He knows what is best for me. I realize that I don’t always see the big picture, and I admit that I don’t always know how to pray. Of one thing I am confident, though. If I acknowledge Him in all my ways, He will direct my paths. If necessary, He will intervene to prepare my “delivery” before it ever gets to me. If what I’ve requested is not what He has ordained, He will send me something else…something better…something just right.

Original post date:  August 4, 2012

Trials, Tribulations, and Trucks

This morning, I am thinking about the time one of my friends was in a car accident. A blown tire had sent her vehicle careening out of control. Already terrified, she braced herself upon seeing a truck headed right for her. She shared something, while recounting the experience, which I am finding to be a source of encouragement today. She said, “If the truck hadn’t hit me, I would have gone over into the ditch.” I suppose most people wouldn’t count being hit by a truck as a good thing. Yet, in this case she truly considered it to be a gift. (The “ditch,” by the way, was on the side of the highway.) She was most grateful for having escaped with just some broken toes, when she recognized that the alternative could have been a broken neck. I must confess that, on the road of life, I have survived a number of “blown tires”—events, conditions, actions, and decisions that blew up, propelling me in a dangerous direction of potential destruction. I often struggled to understand why, in spite of my prayers, issues would sometimes arise that made those bad situations seem even worse! Yet, today, I have gained an insight: God has allowed me to endure some things that were painful in order to be spared from other things that were fatal. So, I am most grateful to have escaped with just some broken pride, when I recognize that the alternative could have been broken faith. Some things I feared would surely DESTROY me, were actually ordained and perfectly timed to DELIVER me from ultimately ending up in a ditch of ignorance, never to realize or fulfill His true purpose and calling. So, in faith, I give thanks for my trials and tribulations…and, especially, for my trucks.

Original post date:  August 1, 2012

Trading the Gavel for a Mirror (A Lesson About Judging)

This morning I am thinking about the time I was driving back home to St. Pete from Miami. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, so I had the windows down and I was singing out loud along to the music on my cassette tape. The traffic was relatively light, so I was making very good time. It was not until I got off Alligator Alley that it became necessary for me to slow down and, eventually, stop. It was not until then, with other cars around me, that I could hear the NOISE. I cast a sideways look at the man in the car to my left, judging him in my mind. “Seriously, dude, you need to get that car checked out. It’s so loud and annoying.” I took the first opportunity to speed up and put as much distance between my car and his as I could. At the next stop, however, there was the noise again…loud, rattling, and obnoxious. I looked around, wondering whose car it was this time. Then it hit me. The noise was actually coming from my car. It was me! By God’s grace, I made it home safely that day having learned two important lessons. The first was to have my oil checked and changed regularly. The second was to stop being so quick to criticize and blame other people for the things that annoy me. Truth be known, most of my aggravations and irritations emanate from a source within—namely, my own pride, insecurities, or ignorance. I pray for wisdom and humility to always practice self-reflection rather than judgment.

Original post date:  July 29, 2012

Truth in Advertising

This morning I am thinking about the time I saw a bright red neon sign that said, “Ice Cold Coke” in a bookstore window. It was a hot afternoon, and I was very tired. So, those three words inspired me to head in that direction with hope of finding some relief. After making the trek across the campus, however, I was sorely disappointed when I saw another sign on the door. This sign had not been

visible from a distance. It said, “Closed.” Reflecting on that experience makes me ever so mindful of the messages I am sending out to others. When I speak of my hope, joy, peace, and strength in Christ, I realize I am advertising something that may catch someone’s eye. Perhaps, in their weariness, they will feel compelled to draw closer with hope of finding some relief. I pray for a heart of compassion that is never “closed” to sharing of His abundant grace, through which even the weariest souls may be refreshed, revived, and restored.

Original post date:  July 28, 2012

My Open Book Tests

This morning I am thinking about tests. Tests vary in purpose. They can reveal what students already know, provide evidence of how well students are able to apply what they know, or give insight into what students are ready to learn next. Tests vary in format. They can range from the traditional true/false, multiple choice and fill-in-the-blank to authentic performance tasks and creation of new

products. Tests vary in length--some being relatively short and others being of considerable duration. Effective teachers understand how to DESIGN and ASSIGN just the right tests at just the right times. I am starting to see that, in this season, my Teacher is challenging me beyond my comfort level of simply being able to recite the “right answers.” I perceive that He has designed and assigned a series of show-what-you-know tests for me. Understanding this helps me to respect my tests rather than resent them. My Teacher is observing as I endeavor to apply what I’ve said I know about faith, hope, joy, peace, truth, and love…in real circumstances. By His grace and wisdom, these tests are “open book”, so I can reference the Word continually. As I pass these tests, I gain confidence that I have the prerequisite wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to receive and appreciate the blessings to come.

Original post date:  July 27, 2012

Yes, Jesus Loves Me!

This morning I am thinking about the limitless resources and methods my awesome God utilizes to let me feel His love and comfort. On Sunday evening, I attended a concert organized by my dear friend, Yvonne. Another dear friend, Zunia, led a song titled “My Help” as a tribute to my brother, Anthony, who recently went to be with the Lord. (That was one of his favorite songs.) As I was driving to work on Monday morning, it was cloudy, gray, and drizzly. I put in my Brooklyn Tabernacle CD because I wanted to listen to “My Help” again. As soon as the song started, a break in the clouds revealed a portion of a rainbow. The clouds framed the rainbow, such that it appeared to be angled straight up into the sky rather than curving back toward the earth. This amazingly beautiful image remained visible to me for the duration of the song, but not one second longer! Don't try to tell me that my Father is not mindful of me. I will not believe you.

Original post date:  July 26, 2012

Still Learning

This morning, I am thinking about something a colleague shared. One of her students had come to her to get help with a story he was writing. He asked her, "How do you spell 'mo'?" She came back with one of her standard responses, "Use it in a sentence." His sentence was, "I want some mo." Ever so eager to take advantage of this teaching moment, she said, "Honey, the word is 'more,' and it's spelled m-o-r-e." After a polite pause, the student asked, "But, how do you spell 'mo'?'" I realize that this is how it is sometimes when I go to my Teacher with questions when I don't understand. Often He has already given me the answer. It's just that my understanding and experiences, so far, have conditioned me think the answer should (or could) be something else. Often He is saying to me, "Honey, the word is 'trust,' and it's spelled t-r-u-s-t." #stilllearning

Original post date:  July 24, 2012

Broken to Let the Good Stuff Out

This morning I am thinking about what my friend, Vernaye, posted on my Facebook timeline. She wrote: "...at a time in your life when you have had a great disappointment and sadness you are really showing your focus is on Christ..." I remember my beloved brother and pastor once saying, "When we are broken, God can let the 'good stuff' He has placed inside us flow out to bless others." He used the analogy of an olive, which has to be pierced to get the oil (symbolic of the anointing) out. I really want that to be the case with me in this season. I pray that my focus will, indeed, be on Christ. My present sorrow is temporary, but His glory, goodness, wisdom, and faithfulness are eternal. Amen.

Original post date:  July 23, 2012

Sequels

This morning I am thinking about sequels. In the way that a movie ends, there may be cues--some subtle and others not so subtle--that there's still more to the story. Last weekend, a "final scene" was cleverly placed after the movie's credits had rolled, and some people had already left the theater. Had we been among the first to rush out, we would have missed it. At times in my life I have been so overwhelmed by sadness, disappointment, or frustration at the apparent ending of a situation that I've missed the signs that said, "It's not over yet." Today I am asking God to open my eyes and ears to discern the sequels in my life. I don't want to abandon even one more dream or cease to believe for His fulfillment of the desires of my heart as I delight myself in Him. So, I will be on the lookout for the reappearance of "characters" that I thought had been killed off. I will listen intently to words that are spoken. I will practice being still and just waiting for a while to see what He will show me to say, "That's not the end. There is more to come."

Original post date:  July 21, 2012

Perspective

This morning I am thinking about perspective. Last weekend, I saw a movie in 3-D with some friends. Before entering the theater, we were each given a pair of those special glasses that are designed to provide a viewing experience from multiple spatial dimensions--length, width, and depth. Wearing the glasses created an effect that took us from just looking AT the movie to really seeing IN the movie. I could hardly contain my excitement as it occurred to me that I can live my life in 3-D. The name of the "special glasses" is FAITH. My awesome God has given me faith to perceive and approach circumstances and situations from multiple spiritual dimensions. I recognize that my 3-D's are Desire (honestly expressing my requests and petitions) , Discernment (applying wisdom with integrity), and Determination (being persistent in doing what I know is right). Let me put these glasses on and get going!

Original post date:  July 21, 2012

Extreme Makeover: My Life Edition

This morning I am thinking about a TV show I really enjoy watching--"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." Every episode features individuals who have been living under conditions that are not as they should be (or could be) in an existing house. Sometimes the living conditions are not just inconvenient, but dangerous or even deadly. Yet, somehow, the occupants have learned to accept it and cope. Then one day the show's host comes to their door and announces that they have been CHOSEN for a complete reconstruction and renovation of their dwelling, in order to give them something better. After the initial excitement, the reality sets in that this process will require a stripping, breaking down, and throwing away of what has become so comfortable and familiar. Once the process begins, there is no going back. The chosen must acknowledge, cooperate, let go, and get out of the way before their "something better" can be revealed. And the result is always well worth it! As I pray each day, I am increasingly aware of the extreme makeover that is taking place in my life. The Host has spoken to me of better things. I trust that the manifestation will not only be amazingly beautiful, but it will be just exactly what I need.

Original post date:  July 20, 2012