This morning I am thinking about my recent experience of emptying one of
my purses. It’s the one I tend to carry
with me most of the time. The emptying
was prompted by a question my chiropractor posed to me. After having given me an adjustment, he
briefly held my purse and asked, “What are you carrying in there? Gold bars?”
His question made me laugh heartily.
It also made me wonder. “What was I carrying in there?” I had some ideas, but I wasn’t altogether
sure. So, as soon as I got home I took
everything out of the purse and placed each item on a table. Among other things, I found an empty bottle
of hand lotion; 3 empty cases for reading glasses that I had either broken or
lost; a cable for an electronic device that is not mine; 3 packs of sticky
notes; 4 individual packs of Bigelow Spiced Chai tea; 2 books; 10 pens, 3
highlighters, a pen/highlighter combination; and $5.25 in quarters, dimes,
nickels, and pennies.
First, I let the reality sink in that I was being a purse
hoarder. Next, I marveled that each
individual item was relatively light, but all together they had some serious
weight. (Interestingly, I had gotten
used to the weight, although it was causing me pain.) Finally, I began to throw some things away
and put others into their rightful places.
I conceded that there were only a few things I truly needed to keep in there,
most importantly my ID and my bank cards.
What a difference it made! My
purse was so much lighter.
Right now I am pondering how the emptying of my purse is
profoundly analogous to the way I endeavor to guard my heart. At those times when I find that my heart is heavy
and weighing me down, I have to honestly ask myself, “What are you carrying in
there?” Sometimes I carry things in my heart
that once served a purpose, but no longer do.
I carry memories of that which has been lost, broken, or all used up. Sometimes I carry things in my heart that
don’t even belong to me. I carry burdens,
bruises, and battles of others that I have taken personally. Sometimes I carry things in my heart because
I am operating from an “I want to be prepared, just in case” mentality. I carry concern for eventualities that are
about as likely as an impromptu bring-your-own-Chai-tea party. Sometimes I carry things in my heart that are
intended to be put to use, not just collected and stored up. I carry ideas, dreams, and intentions that
are meant to be purposefully shared.
Sometimes I get used to the combined weight of these things, even when
it causes me pain.
I concede that there are only a few things I truly need to
carry in my heart consistently—namely my identity in Christ and knowledge of the
boundless provision of God’s grace toward me.
When I live and love like that, it makes my heart so much lighter. Knowing this, it is up to me to discern what needs
to be discarded. There is a significant
difference between being fulfilled and being burdened. Ironically, it is in the emptying…when I
decide to lighten up…that I realize I am really made complete and whole.
