Getting the Bugs Out

This morning I am thinking about the porch light by my front door.  Last night when I flipped the switch to turn it on, nothing happened.  No light.  This had happened before, so I knew what I needed to do.  I went and got a new bulb from the storage cabinet, grabbed my step ladder, and headed outside.  As I had done a number of times, I removed the top from the light fixture and unscrewed the blown bulb.  After replacing it with a fresh, new bulb I flipped the switch again.  Still nothing happened.  Still no light.  “Must be a faulty bulb,” I reasoned while climbing to “remove and replace” a second time.  That’s when I noticed the bugs.  Inside the decorative lamp that encloses the light bulb, near the bottom, they lay--dead, but growing into a heap.  Although quite a bit creeped out, I removed the new bulb.  I put it next to my ear and shook it.  I was listening for a tell-tale tingling sound that would let me know the bulb was blown, but I didn’t hear it.  There was absolutely nothing wrong with the bulb.  It was the bugs!  Perhaps as a way to put off the inevitable task of cleaning the bugs out, I spent a few minutes pondering how the bugs could have gotten inside the lamp.  Had the top been on too loosely?  Were there gaps in the sides?  How long had the pile of bugs been growing?  I imagined how some of the bugs must have fallen deep into the socket each time I had taken a blown bulb out.  I wondered if the bugs had played a role in causing previous bulbs to blow.  Ultimately, none of that mattered.  The point was if I wanted the light to work, I would have to get the bugs out.  This rather mundane incident of changing a light bulb has brought me to a place of deep self-reflection.  With all sincerity, I desire and endeavor to bring light and to BE LIGHT in my world…in my family, with my friends, at church, at work, and in my community.  I recognize that this light manifests itself in different ways for different situations.  Some of its manifold faces are wisdom, knowledge, compassion, joy, truth, integrity, hope, forgiveness, and love.  I acknowledge that there are times when I find myself in dark places, and I “flip the switch,” only to find that nothing happens.  I try removing and replacing words and behaviors.  I even try removing and replacing some friends and companions.  Still, I sometimes find that my glow is dim at best.  Today a light bulb has gone off, so to speak.  I realize that there is no shortage in my Power Source.  There is also nothing wrong with the lamp of His Word or His faithful promises.  I understand that what is called for is my diligence in dealing with the selfishness, vanity, doubt, fear, apathy, cynicism, deception and other “bugs” that can slowly, subtly pile up in my heart and mind as I experience life every day.  I could get caught up in contemplating and analyzing a number of things, including how these bugs get inside me or why bugs are so attracted to light in the first place.  I could also engage in speculation and lamentation over opportunities and relationships that may have been blown because of my bugs.  But now is a time for cleansing.  The cry of heart is, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me!” (Psalm 51:10).  I still have some shining to do.