Surrendering To The Big, Bad Wolf

This morning I am thinking about the story of The Three Pigs, and I’m chuckling.  I’m tickled because I drew a somewhat humorous parallel, while engaging in some self-reflection.  To cut to the chase, I acknowledge that I’ve spent a whole lot of time over the past year, running from what I feared was a “big, bad wolf” knocking at the door of my heart.  My goodness, was it ever persistent!  It would call out, “Let me in! Let me in!”  I didn’t exactly respond with, “Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!”  I did, however, try to run away from it, to places I thought might be safe.  I ran to take cover in my job.  But it found me there.  “Let me in!”  I ran and tried to barricade myself in my studies.  Still couldn’t ditch it.  “Let me in!”  I even tried to take refuge in church stuff.  Even there, it tracked me down.  “Let me in!  Let me in!”  So, a few weeks ago I knew I wanted to stop running.  I mustered the courage to open up my heart, just a bit, to at least peek out and see what was chasing me so persistently and consistently.  I have to say that what I saw was quite surprising.  It was ME!  The real me.  The one who sings out loud in the car.  The one who enthusiastically dances…however poorly…to her favorite songs.   The one who is convinced that no act of kindness is ever wasted.  The one who looks for miracles.  The one who prayed a simple, sincere prayer a long time ago:  “God, please keep my heart so I won’t ever stop believing in love.”  While this revelation was definitely big, it certainly wasn’t bad.  As a matter of fact, it was wonderful!  It exposed the guarded, self-conscious, and increasingly cynical person I had started to become…running, hiding, trying to avoid or avert disappointment, rejection, and any other source of emotional anguish.  So, in an interesting twist to the story, I surrendered to the “big, bad wolf.”  Instead of running, I am now resting in confident trust.  I know that I'm always, forever in Love, no matter what happens.  It’s a truly beautiful thing.  And I’m finding real joy and wholeness again.