Camouflage

This morning I am thinking about the little creature I almost stepped on while walking up to my office yesterday.  Its sudden movement saved it from what would have certainly been death by high heel.  I’ll just call it a creature because I’m not at all sure what it was.  I kept my distance lest it should crawl, hop, fly, or otherwise move in my direction.  I was curious, but I was also chicken.  The way it blended in with the color of the sidewalk was something I’d never seen before.  It was a scary sight indeed!  Mercifully, a very busy time at work allowed me to quickly forget about my sidewalk encounter yesterday, but now its image has come back to me with an unmistakable lesson.  As odd as it may sound, I can picture a speech bubble coming from the little creature’s mouth, saying to me:  “I know why I’m hiding.  Why are you hiding?”  The question startles me and gives me pause.  There are things that I know, deep in my soul, God has created and equipped me to do and to be.  I’m talking extraordinary things.  Yet, I sometimes feel threatened, insecure, and uncertain.  So, I find myself trying to blend in with the familiar, with the popular, with the acceptable…with the ordinary.  I contemplate what I call “the burden of the standout”—namely, criticism, second guessing, ridicule, envy, misunderstanding, and the list goes on.  Honestly, I’m not particularly fond of that burden.  I’ve seen what sometimes happens to people who bear it.  And I don’t like the idea of feeling exposed and vulnerable.  So, I hide.  There is a noteworthy irony to this line of logic, as I learned yesterday from almost unwittingly crushing the poor creature with my shoe.  My supposed defense mechanism of blending in could actually end up doing me tremendous harm!  Pardon the pun, but the thought crushes me.  I am truly in awe of how God could use an encounter with a random, creepy, creature on a sidewalk to capture my attention and instruct me in wisdom.  Today, I pray for freedom from the dangerous mindset that renders me frightened and perfectly fitting in.  I pray that I will be empowered by the Holy Spirit to discard the cloak of camouflage and clothe myself fully in His rich, beautiful, and unique purpose for me.