This morning I am thinking about Simina, a woman I met the other day. I described Simina to a friend as “an energy giver,” in contrast to an energy zapper. Her kindness, humor, and keen insights were all engaging enough, but it was her personal story that really captured my attention and my heart. She shared how she had grown up in Pakistan as one of seven children, her father being the only English speaker in the household. At the age of eighteen, Simina was introduced to the man who would become her husband through an arranged marriage. She described how the young man had come to her house one evening with his sister, so the two of them could have a chance to check each other out over tea. She recalled the encounter being very brief, giving her just enough time to conclude that “he seemed a little small…but he was okay.” When she turned twenty years old, they married and moved to America, where she knew no one and still did not speak any English. Filtering her experience through my own limited and biased perspective, I felt a great sense of unfairness. Everything in me seemed to kick against what I perceived as her lack of choice and decision-making power in such an important matter. Rather than risk saying something stupid and offensive, I simply asked, “Were you afraid?” Her answer was spontaneous, simple, and sincere: “No.” She went on to describe how she and her new husband had sat and had a heart to heart talk about what they both wanted and needed, what each person’s roles would be, and how they would communicate with each other. After twenty-two years of marriage, they now have two sons…one nineteen years old and the other ten. She and her husband are both successful and happy in their careers, have a nice home, and enjoy their life together as a family. “People always ask me if I love my husband,” she revealed. “I tell them, ‘Of course I do.’ Is our marriage perfect? Of course not. But is it any different for people who choose?”
As I reflect on this encounter, I feel so blessed. Of all the people who could have been in that place at that exact time to interact with me, there was Simina. I know it was not by chance, but by design. She reminded me that my own life is unfolding according to a purpose that has been ordained and arranged for my good and for God’s glory. Sometimes, in my pride and ignorance, I kick against the circumstances that are presented to me, feeling that I would much rather choose something else. Yet, through Simina’s story, I see that I always have the power to decide. One choice is to lament and resist my situation, giving in to fear, disillusionment, regret, anger and resentment. In doing so, I believe I become an energy zapper. The other choice is to accept my God-ordained calling for what it is and pray for the grace and wisdom to live it out with confidence, hope, joy, and peace. In doing so, I believe I become an energy giver. When I assume a mental posture that is focused on my role in a greater overall purpose, rather than on my individual temporal pleasure, I know that I will always have absolutely everything I need. Not only will God’s grace and favor begin to saturate my life as never before, but He will strategically guide and place me along paths to be a blessing to others. All I need to do is embrace it and walk in it. It has all been arranged.
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