Perturbed By Purpose

This morning I am thinking about the lesson I learned while in my car, right outside of a school.  I was feeling a bit annoyed because I wanted to turn, to move, to go!  But I had to sit and wait.  And, the reason I wasn’t able to go?  Students.  Several of them.  Walking, talking, giggling, texting and protected by the authoritative, outstretched arms of a dutiful crossing guard.  In that moment, I didn’t admire the crossing guard.  I wanted her to get out of the way.  And I wanted the students to hurry up.  I just knew they were going to make me miss my turn signal, and then I’d have to wait some more.  In retrospect, I’m not even sure why I was in such a hurry.  It’s not as though I was running late.  I guess I just wanted to arrive in my time, on my terms.  But as I became increasingly caught up in futile frustration, a thought came to me, so simple and so clear:  “If it were not for those students, you really wouldn’t have a reason to be here.  Just calm down and wait.”  How sobering.  How very true.  There, passing before me, was my real purpose for being where I was.  I desperately needed to see and be reminded of that before I made another move.  So it is sometimes in life when I find myself in quite a hurry to get THERE…to that desired relationship, to that dream home, to that ideal job, to that sweet spot of ministry.  Sometimes I might see favorable signs that suggest it’s okay to move forward.  Yet something seems to hold me in place, requiring me to wait a while, even as I fret about the possibility of missing my turn.  It occurs to me now that the “something” is Grace.  So often it restrains me from recklessly plowing ahead and causing great harm, rather than good.  In my heart, I don’t believe that getting THERE is so much about ceremonies, celebrations, certificates or other superficial tokens that signal “I have arrived.”  Instead, I believe it’s about flowing in my purpose to be a conduit of compassion, faith, peace, light and love.  And when I quiet myself, I see my true purpose developing and unfolding…slowly, but surely…right before me.  I pray that I will remember this lesson the next time I am feeling perturbed by purpose.  I pray that I will have the wisdom to just calm down and wait, trusting that I will get THERE right on time.