Full Disclosure

This morning I am thinking about the brief, humorous interaction I had with a young student last week.  As his classmates made their way, single file toward me, I noticed him jumping up and down at the end of the line.  It was not unusual for that particular child.  I was delighted to be greeted with hugs from the children as they passed, and I could see my little friend at the end of the line with his arms extended in anticipation.  However, just before I got to him, he backed into a wall and covered his face with his hands.  I was surprised by his sudden retreat, but then he cupped his hands around his mouth, looked up at me, and said, “I farted.”  In his eyes, I could see embarrassment that I did not want him to own.  So I simply asked, “Well, do you feel better?”  He gave me an affirmative nod, and we shared a laugh before he skipped off to catch up with the others.  Oh, how that encounter reminds me of myself occasionally, when I approach my God in prayer.  There are times when I come filled with such faith and anticipation, but then I find myself suddenly withdrawing from the embrace of His grace.  It’s not because I’ve filled the place with flatulence.  At least not literally.  It’s that my mind is suddenly filled with things I’ve said, done, or felt that I believe will “stink up” our time of fellowship…things I feel I need to fully disclose.  So, I’ll start confessing my figurative farts, like:  “I really lost my temper.” “I was jealous.”  “I engaged in gossip.”  “I made negative judgments about someone (or something) I didn’t understand.” “I avoided doing what I knew I should because I was afraid.”  “I tried taking a cold shower, but  I’m going to need something stronger.”  I can imagine that, as I look up, He sees in my eyes guilt that He does not want me to own.  In His great mercy He affirms, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”  This word not only clears the air, but it fills the atmosphere with the sweet fragrance of His favor.  In this sacred space, He fully discloses that nothing…absolutely nothing…could ever separate me from His love.  And, as I meditate on this truth, I feel better.  Much better.