My Significant Other

This morning I am thinking about the woman I was in my past and the woman I am today.  Sometimes it feels like the two are engaged in an epic game of Whack-a-Mole.  Semblances of my past will rear their ugly heads, often popping up unexpectedly.  It goes something like this:

 

“Peek-a-boo! Remember how you’d party all night on Saturday and direct the children’s choir at church on Sunday?  Peek-a-boo!   What a hypocrite.  Peek-a-boo!  Remember how you trusted people with your heart, only to have it broken?  Peek-a-boo!  You have every right to be cynical.  Peek-a-boo!  Remember all those nights you spent at home alone while everyone else was out on a date?  Peek-a-boo!  Some things never change, huh? Remember the guilt?  Remember the pain?  Remember the sense of hopelessness?”

 

All the while I’ll be swinging and swatting with my very best retorts:  “I’ve stopped pretending now.  I’ve come to terms with what happened now.  I understand everything happens for a reason now.  I’m happier now.  I’ve stopped leaning to my own understanding, and I’m trusting God now.”  I must say, the woman I am today is winning most of these rounds lately.  Still, the back and forth can be exhausting. 

I have discovered that something truly delightful happens whenever my significant other enters the picture.  That is, the woman I aspire to become.  She sees and points out the beauty and purpose in people and circumstances all around me.  She inspires me to imagine, to dream, to laugh and to believe.  She celebrates my strength, resilience, and faith.  She honors my heart’s desire to love and be loved.  She speaks to me in a joyful tone, calling me to look forward.  On the best of days and the worst of days, my significant other reminds me of wonderful, amazing things that are yet to be for me.  I need to listen to her more often.