The Lizard Tragedy: A Lesson In Faith

This morning I am thinking about the startling mini-drama I witnessed while waiting at a red light the other day.  I’m not exactly sure what made me look down at the road.  But there, in the intersection, was a lizard.  The poor thing was nervously jumping and spinning, dodging and darting, barely escaping one barreling vehicle after another.  As I watched, I began to feel great anxiety.  At the same time, I felt great admiration for the little lizard’s agility and tenacity.  Then I saw the lizard disappear under the wheel of a passing car.  I looked away for a moment, not wanting to see what was sure to be death by tire.  To my surprise and delight, however, the lizard survived!  I could see that a significant portion of its tail was missing, but it was still alive.  I broke into a smile as the lizard scurried out of the lanes of traffic and stood, appearing a bit dazed, near the median.  I breathed a sigh of relief and started to celebrate, thinking “Oh, thank goodness, he made it!”  That’s when a seagull swooped down, grabbed the lizard in its beak, and flew away.  I was stunned by this unexpected turn of events.  My happy ending had been abruptly rewritten.  I felt a bit silly as I tried to will myself not to cry, especially when I saw the man in the car next to me trying hard to suppress a grin.  I knew there was a timely lesson for me in the lizard tragedy, but I couldn’t fully process it right away.  As I sit here today, though, I am taking time to meditate on what I needed to see.  If I had to sum the lesson up, it would be that sometimes there is no happy ending.  Sometimes it’s just The End.  Sometimes, despite my most sincere prayers and earnest hopes, things just don’t turn out the way I wish they would.  It is in such moments that I am tested, and I am starting to recognize that the test questions are often the same: Do you still believe that God is good?  Do you still believe that God is able?  Do you still believe that God is?  And I answer “Yes,” even as some of my fondest dreams fly away, while all I can do is watch.  And I answer “Yes,” even as I try to will myself not to cry.  I realize it is there, in those places where it seems I am at the end of my hope, that faith arises and takes a firm hold on my heart.  And I answer “Yes,” because I am learning something through each trial.  My faith doesn’t remain steadfast because God always gives me what I want.  Instead, my faith is rooted and established in the assurance that God always gives me what He is…namely, strength, peace, wisdom, and love.  The more I reflect what God is, the more I believe that God is.  So, even in the midst of the most difficult tests, I can answer “Yes, I believe.  I still believe."  Amen.